Keeping up the fight….

It has been a long time since I have written, this semester has been one that has beat me up a bit with school but I will graduate in 22 days!!! I feel like I have been working on this forever and it is finally here.  The first part of my journey is done.  I am very excited to finish take the summer off and enjoy training and racing before I start my next step of my journey at NIU in the fall.  I am battling the allergies and everything that comes with them again….I am being smarter than I have in the past, not pushing myself when I am sick, letting my body heal. If you know me well, you know I am a never give up keep going until I drop kinda chick….well I am trying to be a listen to your body and rest when you are sick so you can fight it off rather than keep getting sick over and over again kind of chick.   So training has been on the back burner for a bit trying to let my body get right.  I do know I need to start my allergy routine for spring/summer sooner….. lol  hopefully avoid this next year.  I have learned that keeping up the fight to reach your goals can mean different things.  sometimes it is listening to your body rather than pushing through.  I have my first 5k of the year on Sunday, I most likely will walk, my lungs are still tender from being sick, and I will just enjoy the time with friends that are doing it and enjoy their company rather than beat myself up for not being able to run the way I want to.  That has been a lesson I have had to learn, that I can’t always beat myself up mentally when things don’t go how I want them to.  I have learned that life happens and if I keep up the negative, I will drag myself down even further, so I am trying to embrace whatever life throws my way and go with it.  So while my fight to reach my goals may not always be the picture I have in my head, I am doing my best to remember the journey is never a straight line, there will be highs and lows, and that is what makes getting there worth it.




Training tools….



We as athletes use many training tools to measure and try to improve our performance. We use all kinds of gadgets to test body fat, weight, speed, how much we can lift how hard we can pedal or swim.   In September I was given a unique opportunity to try a new tool to improve my performance.  I was a little skeptical to be honest of how much it would help, but I decided to give it a shot.  I agreed to be a brand ambassador for Quest Diagnostics Blueprint for Athletes Program.   I signed up for my first blood draw I picked the Training status stack.   It was super convenient, I just scheduled the blood draw, and they come to you and with my crazy schedule that made my life so much easier.  After about a week I got my results. They showed me things I was not aware of like my iron was low for one thing.  You get a great report with your test results telling you what all the numbers mean and how to fix anything that is not in range of where it should be.  I also got the coaching option with that stack. It was about a 30 minute call with a Registered Dietitian who was able to go into detail about what my results meant and how to fix a couple things that were off.  My most recent blood draw though gave me a lot of information about how my training affects my body.  I worked out, ate a snack and then had my blood draw after that.  My glucose level was pretty low.  For someone with PCOS that is not normal, most people with PCOS tend to run on the higher side for Blood Sugar.  That shows me that my blood sugar is dropping pretty far when I am training, and I need to make sure I am taking in a little extra fuel when I am on a longer training ride/run, or I could get Hypoglycemic.  I mean it was outside the ranges for low, and I had just eaten about 45 min before I had my blood draw so it should not have been that low, especially since I had milk with my snack which is higher in sugar naturally.  This result especially may explain why I am struggling late in my races, anything longer than a 5k I seem to struggle late in the race.  I am super excited to be able to use the information that I am getting from these tests to help me improve my performance and hit all my goals for 2018!  I think adding this tool to my “toolbox” is going to be a game changer for me as far as training and hitting my goals.  Happy Training <3<3

Taking things to the next level





Do you ever wonder why?  What motivates you to move, go for that run, bike whatever exercise that you like to do.  Is it so you can lose weight, feel better, to battle your depression, or just escape your day.  For me it is that I actually like it.  I like sweating and the pain after a good hard lifting session.  I like to see how far I can push myself.  Sometimes I fail at what I am trying to do, but I always keep trying.  I am always looking for ways to adjust and get my body to respond better. To push myself to the next level.  To hit the goals I am aiming for. Especially concerning my PCOS, I am always tweaking what I am doing to find what works best to keep the hormones and other symptoms in check.  I am researching all the time trying to find what works.  However that can become a tedious process, especially since I can’t always tell if things are working without blood work from my doctor, which as we all know is time consuming and sometimes expensive.  I was presented with a unique opportunity.  I have been named a Brand Ambassador for the Blueprint for Athletes program through Quest Diagnostics.  I am excited to be able to get the blood work when I want, where I want, the best part of this program is  they come to you to draw the blood, you just schedule they appointment.  I had my first appointment for the first stack(set of tests) I bought on Friday, I am anxiously awaiting my results it takes about 7 days.  It was so easy, and actually the easiest blood draw I have ever had.   I think this is really going to help me take my training to a whole new level especially when it comes to my PCOS and hormones.  Being in a war with your body all the time sucks.  The tests are pretty reasonable considering they will send someone to you to draw the blood.  I got a discount code for myself, and one to share with people, which I think is a great deal.  I am super stoked about being able to utilize this program to help me move forward with my goals!  I think 2018 will be my best year yet!  Happy Training <3<3



It has been a while since I have written, probably too long.  I have been going through some things, school has been kicking my butt this semester.  So I have been insanely busy.  I want to talk about something important though, I have been struggling with my workouts and things lately and it is because of my head space.  I let someone else get in there, and this person made me feel not good enough, that I wasn’t really trying.  That I wasn’t really an athlete, it brought up a lot of bad things in my mind.  I had to do some serious thinking and I realized, I am not the issue.  This person is, no one should EVER make you feel not good enough.  Whether this person was aware of how they were treating me or not, they were affecting me and I realized I was sabotaging myself.  The sabotage was because I was letting someone else in my head, which was totally my fault.  I have removed that person from my life,  without any confrontation, just removed them.  I refuse to give this person the power to affect my thoughts and feelings about myself.  So now I start doing a little rebuilding for myself, getting my confidence back, getting back on track with my workouts (thanks T).  I am thankful for some amazing friends who helped me see what was happening to me, and how it was affecting me.  I thank them for listening,  For offering to take care of the person for me, I kinda felt like I was dealing with the mob, when one friend offered to whack the person lol….. I am thankful for my Trimafia Family, for supporting me, and being there when I need them the most.  Who would have thought a simple application for a brand ambassador program would bring such amazing people into my life.  I am Thankful to Todd and Angela for picking me.  I may not be fast, and I have had some health struggles, but they have been amazing in supporting me.  I can’t wait to see what next year will hold for me, I do have some big plans, that I have, I can’t wait to see how they play out! I will be graduating in May, and completing my internship over the summer.  By this time next year I will have my associates degree and be a certified personal trainer through NSCA.  I will also be working towards my B.A. I lost sight for a bit of what my goals were. Just remember your self-worth should not be tied to someone else’s opinion of you.  Do what you want, aim for your dreams, put in the work, that is what determines your self-worth.  Happy Training <3<3

Facing my fear and the demons


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So as anyone who has been following me knows I have struggled the last year….With numerous infections, between my sinuses, ears, and bronchitis and the asthma that goes along with that.  Well thankfully they finally figured out what was causing the issues.  I am glad and think the injections are working on my allergies.  As soon as that started happening, I developed a condition called Torticollis, basically my neck was stuck in one position for most of a month, I didn’t train, I literally slept and worked.  Finally that has cleared up after a visit to the Chiro.  I am finally able to start training again.  Which I am extremely happy about because let’s be honest when I can’t train, I am kind of a bitch to be around.  The training helps me keep my depression and anxiety in check, and no training means I turn into an emotional wreck.  So everyone I know is quite happy I am able to train again.  I have a race coming at the end of the month, it is a 10 miler, am I ready for it? NOT AT ALL….lol Will i get closer to being ready yes… I will be doing it with amazing friends who will support me, who always seem to support me no matter how far away I am. I love knowing I have people like that in my life.  So I will finish that race, I will probably be slow about it, but I will finish and I will celebrate afterwards with the amazing friends I have met through the Michigan Runners group, and be happy that I am back on the way to feeling more like myself.  I may not be fast, but I will finish and I will celebrate the finish as a step towards where I want to be towards all the goals I am aiming for.  I also submitted my first application for my BA because I will be finishing my Associates degree this year. It seems like it has flown by, everything is going so fast, and I am finally getting closer to my goals which is a bit scary and makes me a bit panicky but thanks to some of my amazing friends for talking me off the ledge when I need it.  I am also branching out and trying new fitness things…..stay tuned….Happy Training <3<3






I have had a bit of a setback in my training……Last Wednesday I woke up with what I thought was a stiff neck.  I just thought maybe I slept funny or something.  By Saturday morning, I was having trouble using my left arm without pain, and there was no head turning, or nodding going on without a shooting pain.  I went to the Doctor.  Turns out I have a condition called Torticollis.  So with instructions on PT exercises, and muscle relaxers to try an loosen things up.  Well It is now Wednesday again and all I have accomplished is working, and sleeping most of the rest of the day.  At some points, I feel like the pain is better and I can use my arm, and turn my head, but then it comes back with a vengeance.  So I am still doing the stretching stuff, and applying heat, and taking the meds.  I am going to call again in the morning, and see if there is anything else I can do, I am also going to see about scheduling a massage.  I am getting very cranky from not working out.  I am also starting to have pain in my knee, having the arthritis I need to be moving, that keeps the pain away.  Plus if this takes too long to heal I will be putting my race in October in danger.  So send all the positive vibes you can……..



Faking it



Lately I’ve had my butt firmly planted on the struggle bus.  Partly stress, partly health stuff, partly in my own head.  I’m currently at the fake it till you make it stage of the game.  Trying to get myself back on track with training.  Just putting one foot in front of the other. Trying to keep going towards my goal. I’m still in struggle bus mode, but I’m losing forward trying to get out of that attitude. Leaning on people close to me to help me do that.  Working on feeling normal again.  I may not be where I want to be, but I’ll keep pushing till I am…..

Pressing on…..

Pressing On Toward The Goal



It’s been a while since I have written, glad this week is finals week, it has been a crazy semester, and I am glad to see summer break finally here.  Planning on getting a lot of training in this summer.  My poor nephew, says he is going to train with me, lol I am going to guess he won’t train as much as he thinks he will.  That is ok, I figure if he gets out with me at all that is a win.  It is hard to believe that I only have 2 semesters left before I have my Associates degree.  I have already been accepted into the Guaranteed Acceptance program the 4 year college I am going to next.  Things are falling into place well.  Trying to keep moving forward instead of looking back.   Focusing on all the good stuff, instead of letting my natural pessimist take over and waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I went to the Fit Expo this weekend with Cortney, and I have a renewed fever to hit my goals.  There was so much information, and so many amazing stories.  I met some great people.  If you ever get the chance to go, I highly encourage it!   It gave some renewed fire.  I am also excited for Friday, I will be on a pod cast.  My first one, I am nervous and excited all at the same time.  I may not be where I want to be yet, but I will keep pushing towards my goals.  Never stop…. Happy Training <3<3

Life Lessons….or not….




I was talking to someone today, and I realized how happy I am in my training, how much I like it.  I love the feeling after a hard workout, where I can barely walk.  I sleep way more restfully that is for sure, as fact I have been painfully aware of these last few weeks while I have been sick, I have slept awfully, since I have been back to regular workouts, I sleep like the dead literally, I think a bomb could go off next to me and it would not wake me up…lol. I am also working on a paper for my Sociology of Sport Class. It is a Sportography.  We have to back to the earliest memories we have of sports and physical games, and make connections to how race, ethnicity, gender and social backgrounds affected our experiences.  For me thinking back that far doesn’t bring happy memories.  It makes me think of always being picked last in gym or recess because I was always overweight. Or playing softball in the summer and being made fun because I was so big, and always stuck out in right field.   I loved softball, but after a couple summers, I lost that love, it wasn’t fun to be made fun of and treated that way. So I quit…. And I got less and less active as I got older. Then one day in 2009 a friend (who runs marathons) called me up and said do 5k with me… first thought.  I can’t do that I am too big, too out of shape…. Well as she has been doing since we were 12, she talked me into doing something I didn’t want to do……So on a chilly day in April, I put on the race shirt and got in her car.  That was my first race; little did I know it would not be my last. I walked the whole race, and looked around me, I realized, there were a lot of people walking, that no one was judging me because I was walking.  No one was laughing and pointing at the fat girl struggling to go 3.1 miles.    That was when I got hooked.  Over time it led to mud runs, more 5k’s  10 k’s  and I still couldn’t lose weight no matter how well I trained, how well I ate, I stayed within the same 10 lbs.  I pushed myself harder than I probably should have, I did a mud run with bursitis in my hip, and a 10k with a broken foot( I didn’t know it was broken)  All this training and wanting to get better and do more, led to me eventually making my decision to have my weight loss surgery.  My doctor and I talked about it a lot, and we were both confident that I had exhausted all the other avenues, and my PCOS was the culprit that was keeping me from getting anywhere.  So I had the surgery, and since I am kind of Nutso, 9 weeks after having 85% of my stomach removed I did my first half marathon.  I did my first tri as an indoor race, I just wanted to see how I would do….I loved it, and I wanted to do more.  That has led me to where I am now in my journey.  Am I where I want to be with my body?  Nope, am I content where I am? Yes, I am working on changing my body I am lifting more weights, adding more muscle.  Do I succeed at everything I attempt?  Nope….but I always give it my best.  I have learned to listen to my body a little better, and not push when I shouldn’t.  Sometimes I put way too much faith in people, sometimes I get hurt.  But the thing is if I let you close enough to hurt me it means you had an amazing impact in my life.  How it ended between us, or didn’t end, I will never be the one to sever ties, because if you were important to get close to me, you will always be important to me, I will always want the best for you and will always be there when you need me.  People come and go in our lives, but the ones who truly belong tend to drift back into our lives when the time is right.     The person who talked me into that first 5k is a perfect example of someone who drifts in and out of my life.  I will always be there when she needs me though.   I am focusing on the things I like and what makes me happy, and that has brought some amazing people into my life, it has also taught me some lessons.  But good or bad, I will never stop…… I will never let my past hold me back from the future…..Happy Training <3<3


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Well now that I have answers and a little relief from some of the issues with my breathing and stuff, I can start getting back to my training.  Which let’s face it will make me way less crabby.   So I started last night, my Sunday run went ok, slow, but it has been a long 2 months.  Today well today was supposed to be a swim day, but well, it was almost 70 degrees, so I asked my dear coach ever so nicely if I could switch and do my bike and run today.  His response: “good call get outside.” So I hopped on my old road bike, with an anticipated hour long ride in zone one…..well let’s just say this did not go well.  I could not get my heart rate or my breathing under control, at all.  I have lost a lot of what my improvements I had made before Bronchitis 1 in January or was it sinus infection 1.  I can’t remember.  I called the bike early, I took off for my run, which was slow, and I walked more than I wanted to, but I guess getting out there was half the battle.  Tomorrow, I will face the swim, and I will give it the best I have.  I know I have a long road back ahead of me, but I will get there.  I am going to think of it as a reset instead of a setback.  If I start the process with a negative attitude, then that is the attitude I will have going forward.  I prefer to think of it as a rest, because that is a positive thing.  So tomorrow I will put on my swim suit, strap on my goggles, and swim…..and the day after do the next workout.  I will put my faith in the people in my life who are on my team to do what they do best.  My coach to push and help me improve, my dietitian to make sure I am getting what I need, when I need it to fuel my workouts and my body, my doctors to help me get past these sinus issues.  But most importantly I will put my faith in myself….I can do this, I can achieve my goals!  Happy Training <3<3